So, apparently a year has gone by since I last posted on this. Ooops...
BUT...I hereby resolve that blogging shall commence once again. Partly because it will keep me motivated and accountable to be thinking and reading! I'm going to start doing weekly posts that share lessons I've learned that week. Yes, I REALLY am!
Stay posted...more to come :)
a heart set apart.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Saturday, January 30, 2010
contradiction.
There's this phrase we use alot. That I use alot. I'll be having a horrible day, or just a tough minute, and God will bring something into my day that changes my perspective, or lifts me up, or just lets me know that its going to be ok. And in response I say, "Man thats CRAZY how God always knows what I need!"
Really, is it crazy? Why am I continually surprised when the Lord takes care of me, comforts me, lifts me up and brushes off the dirt and sets me on my feet again. HELLO, He's God. He promised He would! "I will supply your every need...I am with you to the end of the age...I will never leave you or forsake you..." Even as I type this I am amazed at how quickly I underestimate Him. I shouldn't be so surprised when I am provided for. I should have a thankful, praising awe, yes. God probably has a great time laughing at the looks on my face sometimes. I can just hear Him saying "Oh Kelsie, I promised you I'd be here! Silly girl!" Yeah God, I totally deserve that.
Well anyways, He provided again last night!! Harvest had college night. It was really neat, just about ten or fifteen of us there, powerful worship in the quietness, and a talk on relationships. No, not the "5 simple truths to have a great relationship" talk. We talked about Jeremiah 2:13, the verse where it compares the Lord's pure living water with the broken cisterns that are cracked, muddy, filthy, contaminated. See, in relationships we seek satisfaction. Thats who we are as people. (By the way, this isn't just boyfriend-girlfriend relationships, we talked about relationships in general.) But if we continually base our satisfaction in broken cisterns instead of the fresh pure LIVING water of God, then we set ourselves up for failure again and again. We can't come close to God's plan for love if we don't put Him at the center of all we do. Our submission and sacrifice should be a run off of the submission and sacrifice we give to our Lord. God ordained relationships, but sometimes (ok, OFTEN) our view of relationships is pretty skewed from what He originally had planned.
It was a great reminder to me that my main satisfaction HAS to be in my God. It sounds so stupid as I type it, because it seems like a simple truth. But so many things are crowding in every day for that satisfaction. Our society is a right here, right now, what's in front of my face this minute type of society. There can be so many many good things in my life, and it can even be God's plan that they are there. But I need to balance them out so that God is the One above all else. So tying back in with what I said at the beginning, why wouldn't I want Him to be above all else? He knows every fiber of my being, every desire I have, every dream I have, every hurt, every thought, He gets it! And He loves me. Thats a powerful powerful God.
I am so completely thoroughly beyond blessed. I would go so far as to say that though there have been so extreme valleys in the past six months, I'm coming to the part where God is showing me the mountain!! He has shown me that He completely works everything together for good for those who love Him. Again, a simple truth but SO SO real to me right now.
But in the valley, or in the mountain, He IS and WILL satisfy. We need to let Him.
Well as usual this blog went nowhere the direction I thought it would when I typed my first words. But here it is, some of my thoughts on a screen.
God KNOWS what we need.
He WANTS to provide it.
Its an uncomparable feeling when we let go, and give it up.
There's beauty in the breakdown.
The world says Hold on. Be independant. Don't let anyone get the best of you.
Put yourself first. They don't deserve you. Or, you don't deserve them. Keep your head up.
JESUS says lose your life to gain it. Turn the other cheek. Love your enemies. Pray for those who persecute you. The last shall be first.
Live as a contradiction, to what the world expects. Not to be different just because. Be different because there's a hope and a promise as we press on to reach the end of the race.
always love-
k
Really, is it crazy? Why am I continually surprised when the Lord takes care of me, comforts me, lifts me up and brushes off the dirt and sets me on my feet again. HELLO, He's God. He promised He would! "I will supply your every need...I am with you to the end of the age...I will never leave you or forsake you..." Even as I type this I am amazed at how quickly I underestimate Him. I shouldn't be so surprised when I am provided for. I should have a thankful, praising awe, yes. God probably has a great time laughing at the looks on my face sometimes. I can just hear Him saying "Oh Kelsie, I promised you I'd be here! Silly girl!" Yeah God, I totally deserve that.
Well anyways, He provided again last night!! Harvest had college night. It was really neat, just about ten or fifteen of us there, powerful worship in the quietness, and a talk on relationships. No, not the "5 simple truths to have a great relationship" talk. We talked about Jeremiah 2:13, the verse where it compares the Lord's pure living water with the broken cisterns that are cracked, muddy, filthy, contaminated. See, in relationships we seek satisfaction. Thats who we are as people. (By the way, this isn't just boyfriend-girlfriend relationships, we talked about relationships in general.) But if we continually base our satisfaction in broken cisterns instead of the fresh pure LIVING water of God, then we set ourselves up for failure again and again. We can't come close to God's plan for love if we don't put Him at the center of all we do. Our submission and sacrifice should be a run off of the submission and sacrifice we give to our Lord. God ordained relationships, but sometimes (ok, OFTEN) our view of relationships is pretty skewed from what He originally had planned.
It was a great reminder to me that my main satisfaction HAS to be in my God. It sounds so stupid as I type it, because it seems like a simple truth. But so many things are crowding in every day for that satisfaction. Our society is a right here, right now, what's in front of my face this minute type of society. There can be so many many good things in my life, and it can even be God's plan that they are there. But I need to balance them out so that God is the One above all else. So tying back in with what I said at the beginning, why wouldn't I want Him to be above all else? He knows every fiber of my being, every desire I have, every dream I have, every hurt, every thought, He gets it! And He loves me. Thats a powerful powerful God.
I am so completely thoroughly beyond blessed. I would go so far as to say that though there have been so extreme valleys in the past six months, I'm coming to the part where God is showing me the mountain!! He has shown me that He completely works everything together for good for those who love Him. Again, a simple truth but SO SO real to me right now.
But in the valley, or in the mountain, He IS and WILL satisfy. We need to let Him.
Well as usual this blog went nowhere the direction I thought it would when I typed my first words. But here it is, some of my thoughts on a screen.
God KNOWS what we need.
He WANTS to provide it.
Its an uncomparable feeling when we let go, and give it up.
There's beauty in the breakdown.
The world says Hold on. Be independant. Don't let anyone get the best of you.
Put yourself first. They don't deserve you. Or, you don't deserve them. Keep your head up.
JESUS says lose your life to gain it. Turn the other cheek. Love your enemies. Pray for those who persecute you. The last shall be first.
Live as a contradiction, to what the world expects. Not to be different just because. Be different because there's a hope and a promise as we press on to reach the end of the race.
always love-
k
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Jesus Jesus at Your feet, there is NOWHERE else for me.
Do you ever feel restless? Like you can barely sit still? Like there is just something rustling in your heart and you don't quite know what to do with it. Its like I want to laugh and cry at the same time. Like I have something inside me that desperately needs to come out but I don't quite know where to put it.
The more I learn about Jesus, the more I wonder WHY WE RUN FROM HIM!!! Why do we constantly seek our own way? Why do we fear the sacrifices we will have to make? He holds out His nail-pierced hand and says
My Child. I love you with perfect love and I will take care of everything. I simply ask you to lay it all down at my feet. I'll take it from there.
And if you're like me, you say
Ehh, I don't know Jesus. I think I have a pretty good handle on everything right now. I love you, but I can carry my perfectly organized world all by myself.
HA!! WHAT A LIE! Satan is going to shoot holes all over that. And he won't waste a minute doing it. Trust me, I've been there.
THERE IS NO SACRIFICE THAT IS TOO HARD TO MAKE IN EXCHANGE FOR JESUS!!! perfect organization - forget it. Life doesn't fit into little boxes. Its over, its under, its in between, its all around.
When we reach that point of surrender, its a sweet sweet feeling. Its like you just melt in a puddle because you're so full of peace and PURE PURE love.
But then there's that restless feeling. Why do we sweat all these little things? Why do I spend precious minutes on things that will have absolutely no impact on the world and their view of Christ? I want to do more. I want to see more. I want to mean more. How do I do it? Its been an intense feeling on my heart for awhile. After seeing and feeling the horrible, black, hopeless place, I never want to go back. I want to show people a way out of there. I put my hands in the air and say Here I am Lord. Send me.
And wait.
Remind me Lord that you use any amount of service and you can use people anywhere. We might not see results, we might not see success, but if we proclaim You with boldness, we WILL NOT LOSE.
Come even closer, Jesus. I want to know You more and more and more. Light a fire in our hearts and a zeal in our lives.
"To know You is to ache for more than ordinary,To know You is to look beyond the temporary, To know You is believing that You will be enough, Cause there is no life without You. More than my next breath More than life or death All I'm reaching for, I live my life to know you more."
We have a high calling. I've wasted enough time. Lets MOVE.
"I see a generation, rising up to take the place, with selfless faith. I see a near revival, stirring at we pray and seek, we're on our knees, we're on our knees."
Use me Jesus.
k.
The more I learn about Jesus, the more I wonder WHY WE RUN FROM HIM!!! Why do we constantly seek our own way? Why do we fear the sacrifices we will have to make? He holds out His nail-pierced hand and says
My Child. I love you with perfect love and I will take care of everything. I simply ask you to lay it all down at my feet. I'll take it from there.
And if you're like me, you say
Ehh, I don't know Jesus. I think I have a pretty good handle on everything right now. I love you, but I can carry my perfectly organized world all by myself.
HA!! WHAT A LIE! Satan is going to shoot holes all over that. And he won't waste a minute doing it. Trust me, I've been there.
THERE IS NO SACRIFICE THAT IS TOO HARD TO MAKE IN EXCHANGE FOR JESUS!!! perfect organization - forget it. Life doesn't fit into little boxes. Its over, its under, its in between, its all around.
When we reach that point of surrender, its a sweet sweet feeling. Its like you just melt in a puddle because you're so full of peace and PURE PURE love.
But then there's that restless feeling. Why do we sweat all these little things? Why do I spend precious minutes on things that will have absolutely no impact on the world and their view of Christ? I want to do more. I want to see more. I want to mean more. How do I do it? Its been an intense feeling on my heart for awhile. After seeing and feeling the horrible, black, hopeless place, I never want to go back. I want to show people a way out of there. I put my hands in the air and say Here I am Lord. Send me.
And wait.
Remind me Lord that you use any amount of service and you can use people anywhere. We might not see results, we might not see success, but if we proclaim You with boldness, we WILL NOT LOSE.
Come even closer, Jesus. I want to know You more and more and more. Light a fire in our hearts and a zeal in our lives.
"To know You is to ache for more than ordinary,To know You is to look beyond the temporary, To know You is believing that You will be enough, Cause there is no life without You. More than my next breath More than life or death All I'm reaching for, I live my life to know you more."
We have a high calling. I've wasted enough time. Lets MOVE.
"I see a generation, rising up to take the place, with selfless faith. I see a near revival, stirring at we pray and seek, we're on our knees, we're on our knees."
Use me Jesus.
k.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Teaching.. Full Time Job!! Full Heart!!
Whew. Three days down. Lots more to go. I'm too tired to count.
So far... its good! The kids are special :) They all have their unique quirks but that is what makes it a classroom! Without that, it would be robotic and boring. Its so interesting how as a teacher I'm so conditioned to pick up on those things. Its amazing how much I have learned without realizing it!
Sleeping at night...not going so well. So many things on my mind! I am dead tired, but when I close my eyes I see PBIS tickets and lesson plans and counting heads and hear my name over and over and over. Hopefully that changes soon!
There is a lot to learn, and the day flies by. On average I've been leaving at 7:50 am and not getting home til 5:15 - 5:30 pm. Today I got out a little early, so I had time to run to Target for tab dividers. Yep, the exciting life of a teacher :)
I'm also training for my 5K, and I think the everyday exercise has been what has kept me all straightened out. Running ... the addiction is quickly coming back. YES!
overall, lets see... I'm alive! I'm happy! Student teaching is surreal-ly here and its really not as scary as I thought it would be. Its SO fun and fulfilling to be in a classroom everyday as a teacher instead of behind the desk. I am so thankful to God for answering prayers for my placement, for His grace to get through the days and for His wisdom. Definitely for His perfect plan in giving me a love for kids and learning and teaching..and a major in college to use it through. His way is the Best Way.
Well, I just wanted to update this and get some of the "first week" thoughts out on paper...or screen...? :)
Seeking His Way,
Love Kels
So far... its good! The kids are special :) They all have their unique quirks but that is what makes it a classroom! Without that, it would be robotic and boring. Its so interesting how as a teacher I'm so conditioned to pick up on those things. Its amazing how much I have learned without realizing it!
Sleeping at night...not going so well. So many things on my mind! I am dead tired, but when I close my eyes I see PBIS tickets and lesson plans and counting heads and hear my name over and over and over. Hopefully that changes soon!
There is a lot to learn, and the day flies by. On average I've been leaving at 7:50 am and not getting home til 5:15 - 5:30 pm. Today I got out a little early, so I had time to run to Target for tab dividers. Yep, the exciting life of a teacher :)
I'm also training for my 5K, and I think the everyday exercise has been what has kept me all straightened out. Running ... the addiction is quickly coming back. YES!
overall, lets see... I'm alive! I'm happy! Student teaching is surreal-ly here and its really not as scary as I thought it would be. Its SO fun and fulfilling to be in a classroom everyday as a teacher instead of behind the desk. I am so thankful to God for answering prayers for my placement, for His grace to get through the days and for His wisdom. Definitely for His perfect plan in giving me a love for kids and learning and teaching..and a major in college to use it through. His way is the Best Way.
Well, I just wanted to update this and get some of the "first week" thoughts out on paper...or screen...? :)
Seeking His Way,
Love Kels
Monday, January 4, 2010
Its up to Y.O.U.
Vacations are quite fun! I mean, let's think about this. Throw together 10 (yes, I said TEN) people from one family and its a recipe for guaranteed sibling love and parental bliss for three days...
But actually, we're having a pretty good time so far! Dad rented a big cabin at Grand Bear Lodge by Starved Rock. Its really nice! The cabin has three floors: the main floor has a huge living room with a kitchen and bathroom. The basement has two bedrooms. One room has two sets of bunkbeds. The other has two double beds with a jacuzzi! Then, the upstairs floor is the master bedroom where mom and dad are staying with another jacuzzi. Thow in some of the fireplaces and its just lovely!
The lodge also has an amusement park that we checked out last night and a huge waterpark. The slides are lots of fun and the wave pool is exciting. Kristi and I are taking advantage of the coffee shop and Wi-fi right now. Kendall and the little girls are diligently counting hundreds of tickets right now. The arcade is making way too much money off of them right now..crazy kids!!
Overall, it's lots of fun when Dad decides to spend money ;)
Some good thoughts that I learned from yesterday...
**There are two groups of people:
1) believers
2) non-believers
Yes, I think there can be some deviation from this. But overall I think the point being made was that we can split so many hairs over the little things when we need to be focusing on the big picture: Jesus our Savior and the people who need to know about Him!
** We can waste alot of time and energy being bitter and hurt by others or situations. In reality, we really can't control what others are doing or what is happening around us. What we CAN control is our own attitude. You are just as happy as you make up your mind to be!
Be happy,
Love lots-
K.
But actually, we're having a pretty good time so far! Dad rented a big cabin at Grand Bear Lodge by Starved Rock. Its really nice! The cabin has three floors: the main floor has a huge living room with a kitchen and bathroom. The basement has two bedrooms. One room has two sets of bunkbeds. The other has two double beds with a jacuzzi! Then, the upstairs floor is the master bedroom where mom and dad are staying with another jacuzzi. Thow in some of the fireplaces and its just lovely!
The lodge also has an amusement park that we checked out last night and a huge waterpark. The slides are lots of fun and the wave pool is exciting. Kristi and I are taking advantage of the coffee shop and Wi-fi right now. Kendall and the little girls are diligently counting hundreds of tickets right now. The arcade is making way too much money off of them right now..crazy kids!!
Overall, it's lots of fun when Dad decides to spend money ;)
Some good thoughts that I learned from yesterday...
**There are two groups of people:
1) believers
2) non-believers
Yes, I think there can be some deviation from this. But overall I think the point being made was that we can split so many hairs over the little things when we need to be focusing on the big picture: Jesus our Savior and the people who need to know about Him!
** We can waste alot of time and energy being bitter and hurt by others or situations. In reality, we really can't control what others are doing or what is happening around us. What we CAN control is our own attitude. You are just as happy as you make up your mind to be!
Be happy,
Love lots-
K.
Friday, January 1, 2010
A New Year...today
New Years Day. 2010. Hmm, feels weird typing that. A new decade! Well, one of the new things I decided to do this year was to start blogging. I love writing. For me, its therapeutic to try to make some organized somewhat poetic sense of what is flying around inside of my head and all the things that are whirling around in the world around me. I have millions of little thoughts stuck in my head. Do you? Sometimes, they just need to come out.
Well, if you don’t know me (which you probably do if you’re taking the time to read this), I am Kelsie.
I love people.
I love making people happy.
I love laughter. The deep rolling come-from-way-down-deep-inside-your-tummy kind of laughter that leaves you gasping for air and feeling good.
I love children. Especially the middle school kind. You know, the kind most people DON’T like. Teaching them someday, that’s my dream. Because you know what they say, “the ones who are hardest to love are the ones that need it the most.”
I love those early mornings, or late nights, when its me and my Bible and a cup of coffee and its so quiet I can hear You speaking to me.
I also especially love coffee, chocolate, sunshine, being wrapped up in a blanket by a fire, music of all shapes and sizes, coloring, painting, playing outside, taking pictures, farms, horses, and the smell of Coconut Lime Verbena.
But enough about me.
Today I was listening to the radio, and I heard some familiar lyrics. They hit me a little bit different today though.
“and TODAY is all we have now…This is your life, are you who you want to be?” (switchfoot)
The name of the game today is all about New Year’s resolutions. We look back and wonder where the time went. We look at our mistakes and vow to fix them for next year. We see the absence of those things “we were going to do” and we promise to do them this year. Don’t get me wrong, I think these are wonderful aspirations. I had to think though, what if today is all we have? Not to get morbid. But obviously none of us are promised tomorrow.
My goal is to first, take time for God EVERYDAY. Jesus needs to be first in my life, and not just in a skim through His word type of routine. I need to dig deep and soak up His words. Through that, I will know Him even better! Does this mean I will read ten chapters a day? No, probably not. But sometimes a lot can be learned from one verse. Either way, I want to be immersed in His word to draw closer.
Secondly, I want to take chances and take opportunities. Yes, it’s natural and even healthy to look back, reflect and see things we want to change. But I don’t want to simply look back and think, “oh yeah, that would’ve been nice.” I want to proactively meet some of those opportunities head on. Today is all we have.
I think that’s enough for tonight. Time to find my pillow, its been a long day. But now my mind is clear because I’ve let some of it out on this keyboard. I think I’m going to like this.
Love,
kelsie
Well, if you don’t know me (which you probably do if you’re taking the time to read this), I am Kelsie.
I love people.
I love making people happy.
I love laughter. The deep rolling come-from-way-down-deep-inside-your-tummy kind of laughter that leaves you gasping for air and feeling good.
I love children. Especially the middle school kind. You know, the kind most people DON’T like. Teaching them someday, that’s my dream. Because you know what they say, “the ones who are hardest to love are the ones that need it the most.”
I love those early mornings, or late nights, when its me and my Bible and a cup of coffee and its so quiet I can hear You speaking to me.
I also especially love coffee, chocolate, sunshine, being wrapped up in a blanket by a fire, music of all shapes and sizes, coloring, painting, playing outside, taking pictures, farms, horses, and the smell of Coconut Lime Verbena.
But enough about me.
Today I was listening to the radio, and I heard some familiar lyrics. They hit me a little bit different today though.
“and TODAY is all we have now…This is your life, are you who you want to be?” (switchfoot)
The name of the game today is all about New Year’s resolutions. We look back and wonder where the time went. We look at our mistakes and vow to fix them for next year. We see the absence of those things “we were going to do” and we promise to do them this year. Don’t get me wrong, I think these are wonderful aspirations. I had to think though, what if today is all we have? Not to get morbid. But obviously none of us are promised tomorrow.
My goal is to first, take time for God EVERYDAY. Jesus needs to be first in my life, and not just in a skim through His word type of routine. I need to dig deep and soak up His words. Through that, I will know Him even better! Does this mean I will read ten chapters a day? No, probably not. But sometimes a lot can be learned from one verse. Either way, I want to be immersed in His word to draw closer.
Secondly, I want to take chances and take opportunities. Yes, it’s natural and even healthy to look back, reflect and see things we want to change. But I don’t want to simply look back and think, “oh yeah, that would’ve been nice.” I want to proactively meet some of those opportunities head on. Today is all we have.
I think that’s enough for tonight. Time to find my pillow, its been a long day. But now my mind is clear because I’ve let some of it out on this keyboard. I think I’m going to like this.
Love,
kelsie
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